Creating Self-Care Routines
Image Description: In-process light pink knitting project, lavender stems, half-full cup of coffee, a journal with a hand written knitting pattern and uncapped pen resting atop the journal.
I love the thrill of planning. I get pumped up when I see a new kind of craft, start learning the steps through countless YouTube tutorials, and then order fresh new supplies. I enjoy seeing a mouth-water-inducing photo of a new recipe and getting jazzed when I read the steps of some new food prep method, so I put the ingredients I have never heard of before on my grocery list. I especially love the process of picking out a new journal, selecting just the right cover for my current season and then cracking open to the first page, feeling the smoothness of paper, and then taking my favorite pen to meet the book for the very first time. I love the sprouts of hope and joy that erupt as I enter into the freshness of something new and delightful.
All too often, though, once my craft supplies arrive I get nervous to fail and my free-time seems too sparse, so my new craft supplies get shoved into a drawer until a day with more time arrives. I get lost in the grocery store isles trying to find out where even do they stock nutritional yeast? And just how necessary are all 26 steps of that intricate cooking process? I will decide to put the recipe off in favor of frozen pizza. My journal gets used for a day or two, maybe a week or two, before it gets pushed to the side of my nightstand and one day falls behind it. Writing sometimes just seems like too much of a task when everything else seems to need so much attention.
The cost-to-benefit ratio in many of these situations tends to grow more daunting as the notion or idea of the act transitions into living the act. I think it is important to recognize that self-care takes time and investment on our part. Planning it into our calendar helps. Allotting the time for learning curves and leaving energy to engage the mistakes of learning a new dish or craft helps make the process enjoyable rather than stressful. Self-care will look different for each of us. For me, these are all things that bring me joy. However, when I am on overload these can also become another thing I get stressed to check off my list.
Reframing my mindset has helped me be able to once again move something new to the exciting and self-care arena, rather than the place where I must complete a task with perfection. Self-care routines and activities are not about creating masterpieces. Crafts are meant for fun, and fun means it is completely okay to make mistakes and end up with a goopy ball of clay instead of the ring dish I had imagined. I had fun, I experimented, I engaged an artist’s date with myself (if you are not familiar with Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Dates I highly recommend the book The Artist’s Way!). There does not need to be a final outcome with self-care. If my meal turns out awful, I can always eat some toast with peanut butter to fill my body. Some of my worst recipes have given me the best stories to tell later. The journal will be there waiting, for when I again am able to return to the pages with a relief to scribble out what is on my mind.
I think the important thing is to make time regularly for routine self-care. Some important routines include time to unwind, time to play, and time to process life. If we do not find times to relax or unwind, our bodies and minds will eventually start to shut down. Whether you like bubble baths, naps, meditating, day trips, or something completely different, find something that allows you to shut the outside world down for a time and just unwind. Identify activities that allow you space to breathe easier and more freely. Play time is vital to bust stress, to build relationships with others and with ourselves, and to boost creativity and brain function. Plus, it is so much fun! With the mental load of jobs, stress, and responsibilities, it is necessary to sometimes just set it all aside and do the things that bring you deep joy and laughter. Finally, we need routines of self-care that allow for processing. In this specific time we are facing a deadly pandemic, a civil rights movement, our political situations have been intense for a while, the economy has been up and down, and these are just the collective stresses and traumas. We are also all facing our own lived realities from work, childcare, family dynamics, and our own lived experiences that we all carry with us. Therapy is a great place to begin the practice of slowly unpacking all we are holding and feeling. Journaling small bits here and there can help us to ground. Being in communication with trusted friends, family, and/or a significant other can also help us to process these things as well. If you are a person of religious or spiritual beliefs, finding grounding exercises in your faith can also be very impactful.
Creating routines of self-care helps us to more fully engage with those we love and also to engage more holistically with ourselves. What routines do you have for self-care? What routines do you desire to have? What steps would help you create the ideal routines in your life right now?
